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  1. {Enter BEROWNE, alone, with a paper in his hand.}
  2. BEROWNE. The king he is hunting the Deer,
  3. I am coursing myself.
  4. They have pitch’d a Toil, I am toiling in a pitch, pitch that defiles; defile, a foul word: Well, set thee down sorrow; for so they say the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: Well proved wit. By the Lord this Love is as mad as Ajax; it kills Sheep, it kills me, I a sheep well proved again on my side. I will not love; if I do hang me: Aye faith I will not. Oh but her eye: by this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven I do love, and it hath taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy; and here is part of my Rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one of my Sonnets already, the Clown bore it, the Fool sent it, and the lady hath it: sweet Clown, sweeter Fool, sweetest Lady. By the world, I would not care a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one with a paper, God give him grace to groan.
  5. {BEROWNE steps aside. Enter the KING.}
  6. KING. Ah me.
  7. BEROWNE {aside}. Shot by heaven, proceed sweet Cupid, thou hast thump’d him with thy Bird-bolt under the left pap: in faith secrets.
  8. KING {reads}. “So sweet a kiss the golden Sun gives not,
  9. To those fresh morning drops upon the Rose,
  10. As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote.
  11. The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows,
  12. Nor shines the silver Moon one half so bright,
  13. Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
  14. As doth thy face through tears of mine give light:
  15. Thou shin’st in every tear that I do weep,
  16. No drop but as a Coach doth carry thee:
  17. So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
  18. Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
  19. And they thy glory through my grief will show:
  20. But do not love thy self, then thou will keep
  21. My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
  22. O Queen of queens, how far dost thou excel,
  23. No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.”
  24. {Says} How shall she know my griefs? I’ll drop the paper.
  25. Sweet leaves shade folly. Who is he comes here?
  26. What Longaville, and reading: listen ear.
  27. {KING steps aside. Enter LONGAVILLE.}
  28. BEROWNE {aside}. Now in thy likeness, one more fool appear.
  29. LONGAVILLE. Ay me! I am forsworn.
  30. BEROWNE {aside}. Why he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
  31. LONGAVILLE. In love I hope, sweet fellowship in shame.
  32. BEROWNE {aside}. One drunkard loves another of the name.
  33. LONGAVILLE. Am I the first that have been perjur’d so?
  34. BEROWNE {aside}. I could put thee in comfort, not by two that I know,
  35. Thou makest the triumviry, the corner cap of society,
  36. The shape of Love’s Tyburn, that hangs up Simplicity.
  37. LONGAVILLE. I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move.
  38. {Reads} “O sweet Maria, Empress of my Love, —”
  39. {Says} These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
  40. BEROWNE {aside}. Oh Rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid’s hose,
  41. Disfigure not his Shop.
  42. LONGAVILLE. This same shall go.
  43. {Reads} “Did not the heavenly Rhetoric of thine eye,
  44. ‘Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,
  45. Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
  46. Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.
  47. A Woman I forswore, but I will prove,
  48. Thou being a Goddess, I forswore not thee.
  49. My Vow was earthly, thou a heavenly Love.
  50. Thy grace being gain’d, cures all disgrace in me.
  51. Vows are but breath, and breath a vapor is.
  52. Then thou fair Sun, which on my earth dost shine,
  53. Exhalest this vapor-vow in thee it is:
  54. If broken then, it is no fault of mine:
  55. If by me broke; What fool is not so wise,
  56. To loose an oath, to win a Paradise?
  57. BEROWNE {aside}. This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity.
  58. A green Goose, a Goddess, pure pure idolatry.
  59. God amend us, God amend, we are much out of th’ way.
  60. LONGAVILLE. By whom shall I send this— (company?) Stay.
  61. {LONGAVILLE steps aside. Enter DUMAINE.}
  62. BEROWNE {aside}. All hid, all hid, an old infant play,
  63. Like a demi-god, here sit I in the sky,
  64. And wretched fools’ secrets heedfully o’er-eye.
  65. More Sacks to the mill. O heavens I have my wish,
  66. Dumaine transformed, four Woodcocks in a dish.
  67. DUMAINE. O most divine Kate.
  68. BEROWNE {aside}. O most profane coxcomb.
  69. DUMAINE. By heaven the wonder in a mortal eye.
  70. BEROWNE {aside}. By earth she is not, corporal, there you lie.
  71. DUMAINE. Her Amber hairs for, foul hath amber coated.
  72. BEROWNE {aside}. An amber-color’d Raven was well noted.
  73. DUMAINE. As upright as the Cedar.
  74. BEROWNE {aside}. Stooped I say, her shoulder is with child.
  75. DUMAINE. As fair as day.
  76. BEROWNE {aside}. Aye as some days, but then no Sun must shine.
  77. DUMAINE. Oh that I had my wish?
  78. LONGAVILLE. {aside}. And I had mine.
  79. KING {aside}. And mine too good Lord.
  80. BEROWNE {aside}. Amen, so I had mine: Is not that a good word?
  81. DUMAINE. I would forget her, but a Fever she
  82. Reigns in my blood, and will remembered be.
  83. BEROWNE {aside}. A Fever in your blood, why then incision
  84. Would let her out in Saucers, Sweet misprision.
  85. DUMAINE. Once more I’ll read the Ode that I have writ.
  86. BEROWNE {aside}. Once more I’ll mark how Love can vary Wit.
  87. DUMAINE {reads}. “On a day, alack the day:
  88. Love, whose Month is ever May:
  89. Spied a blossom passing fair,
  90. Playing in the wanton air:
  91. Through the Velvet, leaves the wind,
  92. All unseen, can passage find:
  93. That the Lover sick to death,
  94. Wish himself the heavens breath.
  95. Air (quoth he) thy cheeks may blow,
  96. Ere would I might triumph so.
  97. But alack my hand is sworn,
  98. Ne’er to pluck thee from thy throne:
  99. Vow alack for youth unmeet,
  100. Youth so apt to pluck a sweet.
  101. Do not call it sin in me,
  102. That I am forswvorn for thee:
  103. Thou for whom even Jove would swear,
  104. Juno but an Ethiop were,
  105. And deny himself for Jove,
  106. Turning mortal for thy love.
  107. This will I send, and something else more plain.
  108. That shall express my true love’s fasting pain.
  109. {Says} Oh would the King, Berowne, and Longaville,
  110. >Were lovers too, ill to example ill,
  111. Would from my forehead wipe a perjur’d note:
  112. For none offend, where all alike do dote.
  113. LONGAVILLE. Dumaine, thy Love is far from charity,
  114. That in love’s grief desir’st society:
  115. You may look pale, but I should blush I know,
  116. To be o’erheard and taken napping so.
  117. KING. Come sir, you blush: as his, your case is such.
  118. You chide at him, offending twice as much.
  119. You do not love Maria? Longaville,
  120. Did never Sonnet for her sake compile,
  121. Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
  122. His loving bosom, to keep down his heart.
  123. I have been closely shrouded in this bush,
  124. And mark’d you both, and for you both did blush.
  125. I heard your guilty Rhymes, observ’d your fashion:
  126. Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion.
  127. Ah me says one! O Jove the other cries!
  128. One her hairs were Gold, Crystal the other’s eyes.
  129. You would for Paradise break Faith and troth,
  130. And Jove for your love would infringe an oath.
  131. What will Berowne say when that he shall hear
  132. Faith infringed, which such zeal did swear.
  133. How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit?
  134. How will he triumph, leap, and laugh at it?
  135. For all the wealth that ever I did see,
  136. I would not have him know so much by me.
  137. BEROWNE. Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.
  138. Ah good my Liege, I pray thee pardon me.
  139. Good heart, What grace hast thou thus to reprove
  140. These Worms for loving, that art most in love?
  141. Your eyes do make no couches in your tears.
  142. There is no certain Princess that appears.
  143. You’ll not be perjur’d, tis a hateful thing:
  144. Tush, none but Minstrels like of Sonnetting.
  145. But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not
  146. All three of you, to be this much o’ershot?
  147. You found his Mote, the King your Mote did see:
  148. But I a Beam do find in each of three.
  149. Oh what a Scene of foolery have I seen,
  150. Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen:
  151. Oh me, with what strick patience have I sat,
  152. To see a King transformed to a Gnat.
  153. To see great Hercules whipping a Gig,
  154. And profound Solomon to tune a Jig.
  155. And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
  156. And critic Timon laugh at idle toys.
  157. Where lies thy grief, oh tell me good Dumaine?
  158. And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
  159. And where my liege’s ? all about the breast
  160. A Caudle hole—
  161. KING. —Too bitter is thy jest.
  162. Are we betrayed thus to thy overview?
  163. BEROWNE. Not you by me, but I betrayed to you.
  164. I that am honest, I that hold it sin
  165. To break the vow I am engaged in.
  166. I am betrayed by keeping company
  167. With men like men of inconstancy.
  168. When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
  169. Or groan for Joan? or spend a minute’s time,
  170. In pruning me when shall you hear that I will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye: a gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, a leg, a limb.
  171. KING. Soft, Whither away so fast?
  172. A true man, or a thief, that gallops so.
  173. BEROWNE. I post from Love, good lover let me go.
  174. {Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD.}
  175. JAQUENETTA. God bless the king.
  176. KING. What present hast thou there?
  177. COSTARD. Some certain treason.
  178. KING. What makes treason here?
  179. COSTARD. Nay it makes nothing sir.
  180. KING.   If it mar nothing neither,
  181. The treason and you go in peace away together.
  182. JAQUENETTA. I beseech your Grace let this letter be read,
  183. Our person misdoubts it: ‘twas treason he said.
  184. KING. Berowne, read it over.
  185. {BEROWNE reads letter silently.}
  186. KING. Where had’st thou it?
  187. JAQUENETTA. Of Costard.
  188. KING. Where had’st thou it?
  189. COSTARD. Of Dun Adramadio—, Dun Adramadio.
  190. KING. How now, what is in you? Why dost thou tear it?
  191. BEROWNE. A toy my Liege, a toy: your grace needs not fear it.
  192. LONGAVILLE. It did move him to passion, and therefore let’s hear it.
  193. DUMAINE. It is Berowne’s writing, and here is his name.
  194. BEROWNE. Ah you whoreson loggerhead, you were born to do me shame.
  195. Guilty my Lord, guilty: I confess, I confess.
  196. KING. What?
  197. BEROWNE. That you three fools, lack’d me fool, to make up the mess.
  198. He, he, and you: and you my Liege, and I,
  199. Are pick-purses in Love, and we deserve to die.
  200. Oh dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
  201. DUMAINE. Now the number is even.
  202. BEROWNE.  True true, we are four: will these turtles be gone?
  203. KING. Hence sirs, away.
  204. COSTARD. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
  205. {Exit COSTARD and JAQUENETTA.}
  206. BEROWNE. Sweet Lords, sweet Lovers, Oh let us embrace,
  207. As true we are as flesh and blood can be,
  208. The Sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face:
  209. Young blood doth not obey an old decree.
  210. We cannot cross the cause why we were born
  211. Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
  212. KING. What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
  213. BEROWNE. Did they quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline,
  214. That (like a rude and savage man of Inde)
  215. At the first opening of the gorgeous East,
  216. Bows not his vassal head, and stricken blind.
  217. Kisses the base ground with obedient breast.
  218. What peremptory Eagle-sighted eye
  219. Dares look upon the heaven of her brow,
  220. That is not blinded by her majesty?
  221. KING. What zeal, what fury, hath inspir’d thee now?
  222. My Love (her Mistress) is a gracious Moon,
  223. She (an attending Star) scarce seen alight.
  224. BEROWNE. My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Berowne.
  225. Oh, but for my Love, day would turn to night,
  226. Of all complexions thee cull’d sovereignty,
  227. Do meet as at a fair in her fair cheek,
  228. Where several worthies make one dignity,
  229. Where nothing wants, that want itself doth seek.
  230. Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues,
  231. Fye painted rhetoric, Oh, she needs it not,
  232. To things of sale, a seller’s praise belongs:
  233. She passes praise, then praise too short doth blot.
  234. A wither’d Her might five-score winters worn,
  235. Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye:
  236. Beauty doth varnish Age, as if new-born,
  237. And gives the Crutch the Cradle’s infancy.
  238. Oh, ‘tis the Sun that maketh all things shine.
  239. KING. By heaven, thy Love is black as Ebony.
  240. BEROWNE. Is Ebony like her? O word divine!
  241. A wife of such wood were felicity.
  242. Oh who can give an oath? Where is a book?
  243. That I may swear Beauty doth beauty lack,
  244. If that she learn not of her eye to look:
  245. No face is fair that is not full so black.
  246. KING. O paradox, Black is the badge of Hell,
  247. The hue of dungeons, and the School of night:
  248. And beauties’ crest becomes the heavens’ well.
  249. BEROWNE. Devils soonest tempt resembling spirits of light.
  250. Oh if in black my Lady’s brows be deck’d,
  251. It mourns, that painting usurping hair
  252. Should ravish doters with a false aspect:
  253. And therefore is she born to make black fair.
  254. Her favor turns the fashion of the days,
  255. For native blood is counted painting now:
  256. And therefore red that would avoid dispraise,
  257. Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
  258. DUMAINE. To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
  259. LONGAVILLE. And since her time are colliers counted bright.
  260. KING. And Ethiops of their sweet complexion crack.
  261. DUMAINE. Dark needs no Candles now, for dark is light.
  262. BEROWNE. Your Mistresses dare never come in rain,
  263. For fear their colors should be wash’d away.
  264. KING. ‘Twere good yours did: for sir to tell you plain,
  265. I’ll find a fairer face not wash’d to-day.
  266. BEROWNE. I’ll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
  267. KING. No Devil will fright thee then so much as she.
  268. DUMAINE. I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
  269. LONGAVILLE. Look, here’s thy love, my foot and her face see.
  270. BEROWNE. Oh, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
  271. Her feet were much too dainty for such tread.
  272. DUMAINE. Ah vile, then as she goes what upward lies?
  273. The street should see as she walk’d over head.
  274. KING. But what of this, are we not all in love?
  275. BEROWNE. Oh, nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworn.
  276. KING. Then leave this chat, and good Berowne now prove
  277. Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
  278. DUMAINE. Aye marry there, some flattery for this evil.
  279. LONGAVILLE. Or some authority how to proceed,
  280. Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
  281. DUMAINE. Some salve for perjury.
  282. BEROWNE. Ah, ‘tis more than need.
  283. Have at you then affection’s men-at-arms,
  284. Consider what you first did swear unto:
  285. To fast, to study, and to see no woman:
  286. Flat treason ‘gainst the kingly state of youth.
  287. Say, Can you fast? your stomachs are too young:
  288. And abstinence engenders maladies.
  289. And where that you have vow’d to study (Lords)
  290. In that each of you hath forsworn his Book.
  291. Can you still dream and pore and thereon look.
  292. For when would you my Lord, or you, or you,
  293. Have found the ground of study’s excellence,
  294. Without the beauty of a woman’s face?
  295. From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive,
  296. They are the Ground, the Books, the Academes,
  297. From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire.
  298. Why universal plodding poisons up
  299. The nimble spirits in the arteries,
  300. As motion and long-during action tires
  301. The sinewy vigour of the traveller.
  302. Now for not looking on a woman’s face,
  303. You have in that forsworn the use of eyes:
  304. And study too, the causer of your vow.
  305. For where is any Author in the world,
  306. Teaches such beauty as a woman’s eye:
  307. Learning is but an adjunct to our self,
  308. And where we are, our learning likewise is.
  309. Then when ourselves we see in Ladies’ eyes,
  310. With ourselves.
  311. Do we not likewise see our learning there?
  312. Oh, we have made a Vow to study, Lords,
  313. And in that Vow we have forsworn our Books:
  314. For when would you (my Liege) or you, or you?
  315. In leaden contemplation have found out
  316. Such fiery Numbers as the promptings eyes,
  317. Of beauty’s tutors have enriched you with:
  318. Other slow Arts entirely keep the brain:
  319. And therefore finding barren practisers
  320. Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil.
  321. But Love first learned in a Lady’s eyes,
  322. Lives not alone immured in the brain:
  323. But with the motion of all elements,
  324. Courses as swift as thought in every power,
  325. And gives to every power a double power,
  326. Above their functions and their offices.
  327. It adds a precious seeing to the eye:
  328. A Lover’s eyes will gaze an Eagle blind.
  329. A Lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound.
  330. When the suspicious head of theft is stopp’d.
  331. Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible,
  332. Than are the tender horns of Cockled Snails.
  333. Love’s tongue proves dainty, Bacchus gross in taste,
  334. For Valor, is not Love a Hercules?
  335. Still climbing trees in the Hesperides.
  336. Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical,
  337. As bright Apollo’s Lute, strung with his hair.
  338. And when love speaks, the voice of all the gods,
  339. Make heaven drowsy with the harmony.
  340. Never durst Poet touch a pen to write,
  341. Until his Ink were tempered with Love’s sighs:
  342. Oh then his lines would ravish savage ears,
  343. And plant in Tyrants mild humility.
  344. From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive.
  345. They sparkle still the right Promethean fire,
  346. They are the Books, the Arts, the Academes,
  347. That show, contain, and nourish all the world.
  348. Else none at all in ought proves excellent.
  349. Then fools you were, these women to forswear:
  350. Or keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools,
  351. For Wisdom’s sake, a word that all men love:
  352. Or for Love’s sake, a word that loves all men.
  353. Or for Men’s sake, the author of these Women:
  354. Or Women’s sake, by whom we Men are Men.
  355. Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,
  356. Or else we lose ourselves, to keep our oaths:
  357. It is Religion to be thus forsworn.
  358. For Charity itself fulfills the Law:
  359. And who can sever Love from Charity.
  360. KING. Saint Cupid then and Soldiers to the field.
  361. BEROWNE. Advance your standards, and upon them Lords.
  362. Pell-mell, down with them: but be first advis’d,
  363. In conflict that you get the Sun of them.
  364. LONGAVILLE. Now to plain dealing. Lay these glozes by,
  365. Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
  366. KING. And win them too, therefore let us devise,
  367. Some entertainment for them in their Tents.
  368. BEROWNE. First from the Park let us conduct them thither,
  369. Then homeward every man attach the hand
  370. Of his fair Mistress, in the afternoon
  371. We will with some strange pastime solace them:
  372. Such as the shortness of the time can shape,
  373. For Revels, Dances, Masks, and merry hours,
  374. Fore-run fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
  375. KING. Away, away, no time shall be omitted,
  376. That will be time and may by us befitted.
  377. BEROWNE.  Alone alone sowed Cockle reap’d no Corn,
  378. And justice always whirls in equal measure:
  379. Light Wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn,
  380. If so our Copper buys no better treasure.
  381. {Exeunt omnes.}

 

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